I don’t know if it’s Spring…which is quite glorious here in the Carolinas…or if the fog of my soul is lifting…or both, but I have felt some better in recent days. I also leave for vacation in T-minus six days and counting. That may also have A LOT to do with it. I have also been dredging deeply into what has been unnerving me for the last several months. Like I said before, it’s situations. I don’t roll well with adverse situations. Some people get a thrill off of dealing with challenges, but me being an ISTJ on the Meyer’s-Briggs Personality Profile would rather that everything float along smoothly and that everybody follow the rules.
I don’t like it when people don’t follow the rules. I’m so logical that when I read rules I follow them and automatically assume that everyone else will too.
So, does that tell you why I walk through my life almost constantly FRUSTRATED? Because people sure don’t like to follow the rules anymore.
I also think that because I follow the rules people are going to rise up and call me blessed, and that God will give me all the rewards I deserve, because I am a good girl who…while not perfect…at least tries her darnedest to do right.
If you read the description for ISTJs you know that one our flaws is having expectations which are on the high side. That’s me…right here…Ms. High Expectations. I could be the poster child.
So, here I sit at forty and find that I’m frustrated and disillusioned with everyone and everything…and I hate to say that sometimes God gets lumped into all of that.
This morning my pastor was preaching on having your eyes on the wrong things, being too self centered, and how Christian Americans are even more prone to those things than secular or non-Christian folks. Most of us tend to take every attack on Christian values as being personal when the attack is on God himself. It really made me think.
These last several months I have seen many people not playing by the rules, Christians being very unchristian, and people who I perceive are being blessed even though they have behaved very badly.
The worst part of it all is that I’ve taken it personally when it’s not about me at all. It’s about God and how he’s working…even though downright evil folks…to advance His Kingdom. If you look at everything happening in the world through self-centered eyes then you are going to see all the bad things and think God has lost control, or equally as bad, that God is somehow picking on you.
That, my friends, has been my sin. The sin of self-centered-ness and anger and the egocentric thinking that everything that has happened in the last few months has been directed or aimed at me personally.
I leave you with some verses (Actually a whole Psalm…Psalm 2) to think about. This is the scripture my pastor used today which read in the context of what is happening in the world today is very eye-opening:
Psalm 2 (New International Version)
1 Why do the nations conspire
and the peoples plot in vain?
2 The kings of the earth take their stand
and the rulers gather together
against the LORD
and against his Anointed One. [b]
3 “Let us break their chains,” they say,
“and throw off their fetters.”
4 The One enthroned in heaven laughs;
the Lord scoffs at them.
5 Then he rebukes them in his anger
and terrifies them in his wrath, saying,
6 “I have installed my King [c]
on Zion, my holy hill.”
7 I will proclaim the decree of the LORD :
He said to me, “You are my Son [d] ;
today I have become your Father. [e]
8 Ask of me,
and I will make the nations your inheritance,
the ends of the earth your possession.
9 You will rule them with an iron scepter [f] ;
you will dash them to pieces like pottery.”
10 Therefore, you kings, be wise;
be warned, you rulers of the earth.
11 Serve the LORD with fear
and rejoice with trembling.
12 Kiss the Son, lest he be angry
and you be destroyed in your way,
for his wrath can flare up in a moment.
Blessed are all who take refuge in him.