Today is One of Those Days…

Standard

This morning, I wrote this Tweet on Twitter:

“Hopelessness is like a dense fog threatening to obstruct the view of anything good in life.”

Hopelessness is the hardest thing to deal with when you deal with long term childlessness.

It seems the more I try to move on the more other people remind me…even if they don’t realize it…of what I can’t do for them. That’s the maddening thing about childlessness…not only do you have to grieve for yourself you live with the reality that your inability to conceive children causes mountains of grief for other people.

Not the best recipe for a healthy self-esteem.

I desperately want to move on. I feel I’m capable of moving on for myself, but I can’t move on for others. I feel like doing so would be turning a deaf ear to their pain, and I just can’t ignore someone in pain. It’s not in my nature.

But on the other hand I can’t do anything to alleviate their pain so what’s the good in dwelling on it?

*Heavy Sigh*

Classic Catch 22 situation…

God, please show me the good in all of this and how best to love those around me who are hurting because of what you have chosen for my/our lives.

Advertisements

About thescribespen

I am a transcription coordinator/administrative assistant who works for a major non-profit international ministry. I live in Charlotte, NC with four fabulous felines. Life has thrown me a few curveballs, but I just keep on swinging and knocking them out of the park with God's help of course!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s