The Obtuse

Obtuse definition (from

1. not quick or alert in perception, feeling, or intellect; not sensitive or observant; dull.

They live among us…the Obtuse…those poor souls that you could hit over the head with a frying pan, and they still wouldn’t understand that you’re trying to get their attention and/or what you’re trying to say.

We all deal with the Obtuse at some point in our lives.  Unfortunately, for some of us, the Obtuse are members of our own family.

The Obtuse are the people who, while they may be aware of your childlessness, will insist on thrusting their baby’s pictures in your face or worse yet, thrusting said baby into your arms without first asking if it’s okay.

The Obtuse are friends or family members who don’t understand why you’re not giddy to attend holiday functions or church services where the focus is on children and which families will, yet again, be adding new additions in the upcoming year.

The Obtuse tend to take your lack of excitement in said events and/or participation very personally and most likely will tell you exactly how they are feeling.

The Obtuse are the people who after you send them an e-mail explaining why you and your husband are struggling with the holidays this year don’t even bother to reply much less say, “We understand, and we love you.”

The Obtuse have a way of making you feel like an outsider in your own family or social circles, and what’s even more frustrating the Obtuse don’t even realize (or care) that they are doing it so well.

So, beware of the Obtuse this holiday season and stay clear of them if it all possible.   Like the Grinch they have an uncanny way of stealing your holiday joy.

Most of all don’t be a part of the Obtuse.  One way to keep out of their ranks is to realize that many people deal with pain and loss during the holiday season.   Be sensitive at family gatherings.  If you know someone who deals with pain, loss, health challenges, or unfulfilled dreams simply give them a hug and say, “I love you, and I’m thinking and praying for you.”  Nothing else needs to be said.  You don’t have to understand exactly what they’re going through…all you have to do is simply convey that you know and you care.

One thought on “The Obtuse

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  1. Boy do I know some of the Obtuse! I agree they should be avoided, especially during the holidays if possible. It is my sincere hope that you won’t have any of these unpleasant run-ins this Christmas!

    P.S. I enjoyed your last post of Christmas decorations! I like seeing how others deck their halls. 🙂

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