Well, it’s been a little while since I posted. A lot of people slow down in the summer. My life speeds up. Summer is the busiest time of year where I work…more video shoots, more events..you name it, we’re doing it. Personally, on the weekends we do a lot of traveling and savoring of the summer. Keeps us hopping, but we love it. We’d probably travel more if the pocketbook would allow it.
How am I doing? Amazingly well under the circumstances. There have been the usual ups and downs, and some down-right difficult challenges and family conflicts, but I’m taking it in stride which has surprised me. My mother has been diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia, although at the time she is asymptomatic. We find out more next week when she consults with a hematologist…an appointment in which my parents have asked me to accompany them. I always thought I’d just melt down when one of my parents faced a potentially life-threatening illness, but I’m amazingly calm…concerned yes…but calm. That’s coming from somewhere beyond my own strength. It has to be God.
There is also a situation in my husband’s family that is so awful that it makes me glad we don’t have kids…glad we’ll never have to deal with rebellion, criminal activity, drug use, suicide attempts and teenage pregnancy (yep, that’s all going on in the family at the moment). Honestly, when this stuff happens I look at my situation and I AM VERY THANKFUL that we’re childless. It is hard enough to watch as an aunt…I can’t even imagine it if I were a parent. Honestly, if given fore-knowledge with a choice, and I knew I was going to have a child that gave me that much trouble I don’t think I would trade my life as it is now. That probably makes me a bad person in some folks’ eyes, but like the old saying of “There are some things worse than death” there are some things worse than not having children. The things going on in the family now are a prime example of that.
Despite all the turmoil that is swirling around me at the moment I feel more steady on my feet than I have felt in years. Maybe it’s a passing thing, but something tells me it’s not. I feel like I’ve reached a whole new level. I feel myself opening up again…able to feel love and, most importantly, give love again. I’m thankful that I have a wonderful, loving husband even though he continues to go through a challenging time physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I feel immensely blessed that I have an intact and mostly functional nuclear family of two…plus five felines who don’t give us too much ‘tude.
Maybe it’s just summer talking. I’m hoping I don’t revert again during the Fall and Winter, but I really feel that all of these challenges are molding me into something new. To use another old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” I think that’s definitely the case here.