Anxiety has been rearing it’s ugly head. It started over Christmas vacation. This vacation turned out not to be the best, although it had it’s enjoyable moments. There was more drama to top off the baseline family drama, and thanks to a Christmas Day snowstorm our mobility was severely limited. Don’t get me wrong a White Christmas should’ve been wonderful, but it was a anxiety producing since we were away from home and had two different family Christmas get-togethers to attend. For those of you in colder climates when it snows in the Southern U.S. it pretty much shuts everything down. If it happens on a holiday, well, you’re pretty much staying right where you are.
Also, as I eluded to in my last post I unintentionally left my hormone meds at home. Coupled with the circumstances it was a recipe for the perfect anxiety storm, and I’m still feeling the effects almost two weeks later.
So, Sunday night when my anxiety peaked I picked up my go-to book whenever anxiety snares me in its clutches. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that root of my anxiety is the way I think not my circumstances. A lot of Christians tend to blame “the devil” every time they feel anxiety, but honestly, a lot of anxiety comes from the way we think and how we talk to ourselves via our internal dialogue. Honestly, sometimes we do the devil’s work for him so well all he has to do is sit back and eat bon-bons and read Sports Illustrated. I firmly believe we are our own worst enemies sometimes. I know I am mine. I’ve mastered the art of negative thinking to the point that I can quickly descend into catastrophic thinking. I’m just that efficient at it.
So now that I am slowly getting my hormones back into check I am able to see the forest for the trees. I know that hormonal imbalance fuels the negative thinking train, but the throttle is in my hands. I just have to remember to catch those little negative thoughts before they spiral in to big catastrophic thoughts.
It’s not easy. It takes a lot of effort, and you really have to make a concerted effort to change. I do take comfort in knowing that I am better than I was this time last year, and in 2010 I learned how to self-soothe and deal with things a little better even though I have my moments of epic fail.
One of the things I’m trying to do to foster more positive thinking is to try and eliminate the sources of negative energy in my life. #1 I am cutting way back on the news. Oh my word…do you want to become depressed/anxious in 2.5 seconds? Turn on any news station, and that will do the trick. It seems the media feels its job is to keep everyone in panic mode 24/7. It would comical if it weren’t so sad. So, the news…especially via television…is out for me. I stick to my Google reader where I can scan headlines just to know what is going on, but that’s it.
I’m also “hiding” friends on Facebook who are constant complainers. I’m not judging anyone, because I have descended in FB complaining mode at times myself, but I’m talking about people who are outraged or depressed 24/7 and want to drag everyone down with them. We’re all human. We all have bad days, bad neighbors, cranky bosses, difficult spouses etc., but people who machine-gun post their multiple lamentations numerous times a day are toxic to me right now. We can still be friends, but I’m dealing with my own negative thoughts, and adding others only adds fuel to the fire. I’m cutting back on my social networking altogether…it just feels like the positive thing to do right now.
So, like the old 1940s song I’m going to “Accentuate the positive. Eliminate the Negative.”