Another year, another blog post. Yes, I’m averaging about one a year. Gold writing star for me! While writing more is not a New Year’s resolution…I gave up on those years ago…I do feel the desire to write again. It’s something that God is placing on my heart. I’ve been talking to Him about what to write in what format and whether it should be public or not, and I really hear nothing but “write” so here I go…
I don’t “need” to make my writing public. In fact, this last year I’ve become a very private person for more than one reason. Deeply personal reasons aside I feel like too much of what I used to feel and say was said publicly on social media. I started inwardly cringing so much about that, that my temporary Facebook hiatus has now turned into an aversion so great that the thought of going back there would be akin to jumping back into a toxic swamp. If I did I would have to go back years and years and delete and delete. The thought of that brings on something akin to dry heaves. So, no, FB my account staying deactivated is just the way it needs to be for me and for the world.
I know that social media has it’s positives, but the few positives it afforded me have been held down and drowned in that toxic swamp by all the negatives and my own past misuse of it. Yes, I miss my friends there who are miles and even countries away, but I’ve overcome that with actually communicating with them directly. Now, I will admit I don’t communicate as much as a should, but what a novel idea to write them directly, call them or even better make sacrifices to actually see them face to face when and if possible!
I’m not completely a social media recluse yet you think I’ve become of some anti-social media super-cool hipster (ha! Me a hipster? I don’t even own a plaid shirt!) I’m still on Instagram because I occasionally go to cool places and take pretty pictures, but even my postings there average about once every three months!
The reason I’m blogging is because the thought that my writing might be seen by maybe a handful of people will make me somewhat accountable for what I am writing. Right now as I look at how many “I’s” and “I’ms” are in this post it screams “all about me.” I’ll try to remedy that…but then again, maybe not.
I will try to be vulnerable without dishing about my private life. This is not because I’m that super-cool hipster that’s above it all (I do have some new nerdy glasses’ frames. I’ll give myself some hipster credit for that) but because what I want to share is what God has shown me spiritually in the last year or so. I want it to be about Him and not about me.
2016 was a transition year for me in so many ways. It was at times wonderful and at times difficult, sometimes simultaneously. Becoming a true adult in your late 40’s is not for the faint of heart. It really is hard to teach an old dog new tricks, but I’m living proof that with God’s help it can accomplished. Believe me, there are days when I don’t want to adult, but the joys of truly surrendering myself to my God and allowing Him to do the maturing work in me are so above and beyond the difficult moments. With the help of my Savior, Godly friends and counselors I look back on the person I was and cannot believe I’m the same person. Now, there are days the enemy tries to taunt me with the old fears and anxieties, but it only lasts for moments, hours, days. I even have bad weeks, but consistently God is doing such a redeeming work in me that I find it hard to put the experience into words. I’m going to try though…
I will disclaimer all that to say I don’t know how much I will post, but my goal is more than once a year. Just to cover the bases though if I don’t write until next year I pray your 2017 brings to you many blessings and that God will do for you what He’s so consistently been doing for me.